Bang galore for the buck!

I have been living in Bangalore for almost two months now on work and I still have not been able to figure out how the city moves. Call a Meru cab and 8 out of 10 ten times, the waiting time for a cab to arrive at your doorstep will be in the excess of two hours. The buses seem to go nowhere even when they are clogging up every possible street er, lane to be more precise. Then there are the double coach buses, joined by a vestibule that resembles some ancient space ship docking system from the children's books. Three wheelers are another story. The meters are completely warped. I remember having done what seemed to be 15 kays and this guy's meter read 24 kays. Negotiations from a guy who does not know the local language is mostly futile. Running a car with those petrol costs is unviable.

Biking is an option if you do not mind massive concrete carrying trucks and buses constantly sniffing your backside. Their motors hissing away barely inches from your rear numberplate. Hence my state of confusion. The office is about 3 kays from where I put up these days and with the cool breeze and clear blue sunny skies, I have been walking back and forth all these days to work. And each time, drooling at the P220 or an FZ that passes by, recklessly overtaking that dump truck from the left. Darn!

Truckies now have a bad habit!

Quite often, when I go down the highways these days, I have made a strange observation. It has something to do with the truckies. See, principally, I am totally against overtaking trucks from the left hand side.

However, when I am approaching a truck from behind, I feel many times that the guy on the wheel up front does not know which side I am going to pass him from. Small cars and zippy bikes on the highway just go through the convoy of trucks like an obstacle course. If there is space on the left, they will get their nose in and gun the engine. If there is space on the right, they will take a moment to decide which side will it be more fun to do their stuff this time! So, truckies are now a confused lot. They are not sure which way a small vehicle behind them will go. So I pull close to a truck when I want to overtake it, flash a couple of times and stay right there till he moves and then I pass him with confidence and safety and a small nod as I go past his cabin!

In India, we overtake from the right hand side of a vehicle. So let us keep the highways disciplined. Just try it. You will be amazed at how well mannered truckies really are. They have never let me down. How about you? Tell us.
- Rahul

WYSIWYG- Where you see is where you go!

I have been trying out this neat little technique while riding these days. Its simple. Just train your eyes to make you a more effective rider. Life is such that we keep having problems. Its either our partner, the boss, the city, the job or finances. Most of our time is spent on the problem. Brooding and sulking seldom helps here, if I may add.

Similarly, while riding out there, I am sure you have faced a situation where, you see a rut on the road coming ahead of you and you cannot do a damn thing about it! You hit it smack on and your family jewels probably cry louder than your suspension. Happened to me too! Now I simply look away from the rut when its coming.

You see, in biking, you will go where you see. So train your eyes to focus on the solution rather than the problem. A blind bicyclist, a goat or a rut is the problem. The clear road in the vicinity from where you can pass by is the solution. Keep looking at that goat that suddenly came in your path and you will turn it into some kind of curry soon. Not to mention that you might get flung off your ride due to the impact!

Look away. At the best exit point, the clear patch and you will be safe 9 out of 10 times. It works! Understood that it takes a bit of unlearning but I am doing my share of it. Join me!
- Rahul

Gravel - When its between the road and rubber!

There are so many riders whose years of experience can help you train yourself to deal with tricky situations. With effort, discipline and practice, there is a lot you can do to save the day for yourself dost!

But we strictly believe that there are two kinds of situations when it comes to stability. The first one is when the conditions are normal and it is the lack of riding skill that gets one scenery + one rider + one machine mated in a gruesome threesome! The second situation is when there is an external element involved. Today is the day to warn you against gravel on the road. Whether you twist the throttle, corner well or brake hard, you must understand that your staying up has a lot to do with the chemistry between the tyres and the surface of the road. Gravel cuts out that chemistry in a jiffy and you suddenly have no traction and hence no control

Unless you are on a dirt bike in a controlled environment or frame of mind, gravel can be very dangerous. Rule 1) Avoid patches of gravel and if you can't, slow down to a snail's speed. Rule 2) Be alert, too much of throttle, steering or brake input will make you feel ripped off by your tyre manufacturer, but that is not the case. Even race designed Pirellis will not be able to help you there.

And falling on gravel hurts like mad! - Ride Safe

Stay Upright!

"THE REAR END SHUNT: Riding down a suburban road late on a Saturday night, you stop for the red light. You then hear the dreaded sound of the screech of tyres behind you. The impact from the rear knocks you onto the intersection. You have been hit by a well known brand of car that didn't see you waiting for the light. Maybe under the influence of some drug (the driver of the car that is)."

We found this site(Stay Upright) that is full of techniques and tips to keep the shiny side up and rubber side down while you are riding around town(s)!
Hope you guys enjoy it. And stay upright!

HORN Keep OK Distance PLEASE!

Separation Distances

The key to survival, unlike love relationships is distance. As a biker, remember that distance from the vehicle ahead and behind will keep that salary coming in every month instead of that bulk amount of your life insurance. Yes, sorry about being harsh but in India, you better watch your back because it is nobody’s fault. Every man for himself is the war cry!

Here goes:

At speeds of above 60 kmph, keep a distance of at least 60 feet from the guy up front. If traffic allows, make it even more. Generally, stick to the 1 foot per kmph rule. You will have enough reaction time to brake.
At speeds below 30 kmph, remember that half a foot per kmph is a good figure. Both in front and at the back of your bike.
We understand that tail gaters are aplenty here, but then again, distance from a dump truck or a bus which is raging war behind you is a good thing to do.

During rains, double the distance. If it is very heavy rain/ snow or filth on the road, leave the darn bike at home and take a bus!

While following large vehicles, keep larger separation distance so that:
- The large vehicle driver can see you in his rear view mirror and is aware of your presence
- You can see oncoming traffic, overtake starts as soon as the large vehicle crosses oncoming traffic. Sumos will swerve into action instantly and if you are right behind the bus or truck, it’s a darn head on!
- You have an increased field of vision once the need for overtaking arises.
- When you are approaching a bend with a large vehicle up front, increase the distance even more.

That should keep your family, your employer and your insurance company very happy!

- Ride Safe

Flash in Public - Let the tail lamp show!

So you have a nice black bike, and on unlit streets and rainy days, it cannot be seen all the more. Pretty good stealth tactic we say. As long as the darn brake lamp and the tail lamp are working optimally! Or else, when you brake, someone is going to climb up your back. And we have seen enough porn flicks demonstrating how painful that can get!

The one thing that is essential for bikers to stay alive is the tail lamp. Never neglect the brake lamp if it is out of order. Get it fixed immediately. Sometimes, when you replace the rear brake shoes with new ones, the rear brake lever play lessens and does not trigger the brake lamp. Check this before you leave the service station. Oh yes, one more thing, if your girlfriend wears a salwar kameez on some day, make sure her apparel is not hanging over the tail lamp. We have seen enough of those too.

Keep flashing and you won't get gobbled up by the gaping hole between the front fender of a truck and the road. Thats worse than someone climbing your back, any night!
- Ride Safe

Crash Season?

Listen to our man Max go!

"Now this is really going a bit too far, too much! Will the voodoo gods please stop! Turn those stars somewhere else! Leave us harmless bikers alone will ya! 4, not one or two, or even three, but 4! 2 of them on the same blinking day! If its a coincidence then I'd say its the darnest coincidence I've come across in a long time!"

If a crash has never cracked you up, this sure will. Max is our reality check man and he sure has a way with words. Please read up the entire post on his personal blog here. . .
And hey buddy, we hope you are not whiling away time crashing yourself against objects, in the quest for better blogging material becuase the September issue is now due! Heh heh.

We just loved this one. Give us some more! (Shiny sides up please)

Crash image by: tony.rocks.cc

Guys lets straighten things out!

Great riding is a lot about how well and how fast you can exit corners. So here goes some from us..
1) Look where you want to go. This is an old one guys but if you are looking 4 feet ahead of you on the road, you won't know what is coming your way. If you are looking at the distant scenery, chances are that you will mate with it, bike in tow! So focus on the bend!

2) Don't twist the wrist too fast. Too much gas may upset the rear wheel traction if sent in a jerk so hold that wrist (and save it for the end moment of the being your own best friend do) and throttle gradually and surely!

3) Hold the handle bars tight only during braking! Do not cling on to them tight otherwise. Have a relaxed grip and turn smoothly to reduce unnecessary feedback from the front about the hazards of it's job!

4) Be in the right gear always. Once you are leaning over, you do not want to go half a km that way for the revs to build up. Also, right in the middle of a right hander, you should not run out revs and contemplate shifting. Stay just below the powerband and shift up only once you are straight.

That should set the record straight! Ride Safe.

The smashing new KBC Force RR Speed Demon

Retailing for a 140 Brit Pounds, the KBC Speed Demon in gun metal and gold finishes simply left us speechless. The graphics on the side are completely out of the world!

Add to that an advanced POWERCORE resin, Dual Vent air circulation system, DURALUX removable interior, one step tool free visor removal and that high gloss finish!

Can be drooled (and bought) at kbchelmets.co.uk!

Ride Safe!

Phsychological Gamble!

Check out Mac here without a helmet! Quite a pretty picture it makes right? Considering that the clean roads and the blue skies and that awesome cruiser have to put up with an eyesore without a lid!

But if you were to go deep into psychology, there would be an explanation. If you refer to James W. Kalat's Introduction to Psychology (its a great volume), you will find that life is full of gambles. Your selection of college is a gamble, your personal relationships are gambles and your investments are gambles. Heck, even riding a bike without a lid is a gamble and when you see a rider without one, it means he has a reckless mind that is always looking at covering losses.

Notice a gambler on the card table as he puts in more and more money when losing to cover his losses at one go rather than focussing on winning. Quite a revelation there mates! If you want to gamble, we say go buy yourself a lottery ticket or something. But wear a lid always!

More from the realms of psychology soon!

7 points to remember while riding across India

1. Auto rickshaws aka Samosas! Yeah thats we call them at Monoshock. These guys are not made in the same assembly line as normal human beings. You can be trained hard enough to become Rossi but you have to be born an auto driver.

Keep a look out for these very sharply. They can swerve to extents unimaginable and land up right in your path and cause immense damage. Most of these guys have unions which could get you into trouble if you hit one, so its a double jeopardy situation. Solution: Slow down while overtaking one, and honk!


2. Bazaars. These are treacherous grounds. While crossing a town or a small village along a highway, you will come across these. Lazy fruit, vegetable and meat sellers will look at you from both sides of the highway.

People who just finished buying their veggies will cross the road and buy meat, and never assume that they know its a road. For them, its part of their market place and you are an intruder. Children can be seen crossing the road too and fro at insane rates, candies, fries or cheap ice creams in hand. Solution: At all costs, just crawl. Enjoy the colours of this country. You will emerge a happier man. Dont curse them, it will not get you anything. Notice the zonked policeman in the picture above!


3. Cattle. We have a simple rule for this one. Size. Judge these bovine buggers by size. The smaller and younger it is, the bigger the threat. As these four legged dudes get older, they get lazier and do not move much unless provoked. Younger ones are jumpy and will come right in your path for nothing and from nowhere.

Solution: Never assume anything. Slow down to a crawl if you see too many of them. If you judge their next move by human standards, you will be taking the bull by the er, horn!


4. Cyclists. The Monoshock travel India dictionary says 'a cyclist in India is a human being riding a bike with no motor of any kind, yet carrying the attitude to beat out a Busa, whether in traffic, straight lines or corners!'

Let them be in their blissful states of mind please. There are millions of them and each one has a different CPU!! Solution: Honk like crazy when you are overtaking one. If there are more, stop, have some water, light a smoke and let them get out of the darn way!




5. Level Crossings. Indian railways have laid a crazy amount of track. However, they have not manned all their crossings! Amazing! Whenever you see one of these coming up, STOP! No matter what you feel/ think/ assume. Even if you see a lazy cyclist pedal across, stop and verify the proximity of a train.

If you just ride across one that is unmanned and there is a diesel loco coming down hauling 3000 tonnes of steel behind it, you will be squashed like a bug! Curtains. Not worth it we say! Notice the two jerks with cycles sniffin the train's body!



6. Narrow Bridges. While you are going down this two way strip, enjoying the scenery, you will suddenly come across a small bridge/ culvert that will be half the width of the road. Now thats not such a bad thing you tell yourself. You are darn lucky they made one there in the middle of nowhere. Yes.

All that is fine unless there is a Sumo coming the other way. Trust us, it will not slow down for you. Just slam your brakes, let the pads feast on the rotor and let him cross in peace. If you are caught midway on the bridge, you are erased! Notice the old lady making way. Awesome!


7. Trucks and Buses. Be very careful while overtaking as well as letting them pass as oncoming traffic. In this case, trucks are easier to trust. They will let you pass at the first chance they get. Buses have some serious ego issues and will immediately get into the 'lets race' mood. Avoid overtaking them from the left. You might get squeezed! If you see a bus trying to overtake another, coming on to you from front on a two way street, just get the hell out of the way! Just get the hell out of the way! Yes, double emphasis on that one.




Be careful while you are riding. Stop when tired, there is nothing you are proving to anyone. Enjoy yourself and remember, there are people waiting at home, to hug you when you get back. Just think of that when you are getting edgy! Happy riding!

Protection does not kill the fun!

"Offering to the God of Speed"- The World's Fastest Indian.

We are sure that there is one such deity among the hundreds. Be fast, but always wear a helmet!

And make sure that:

1) Its a full faced lid with a visor that is strong and not fragile
2) The lid fits tight. When you move it after wearing it, your cheeks should also move.
3) Check the rigidity of the shell. Avoid non branded local makes
4) Guys in Delhi, NEVER buy one from the street side vendor. They know nothing about lids at all!
5) If you suffer a crash or the helmet is subjected to severe impact, change it, even if you cannot physically see the damage.

And, NO! Full faced helmets do not impair visibility or audio! So cut that crap!

If you like the image, it will fit your desktop as a wallpaper too! 1024 x 768!

Ride Safe

(D)ragging

A friend of ours recently got admitted into a very reputed college for an undergraduation course. Going through his student id card booklet, we found a very neat 8 point note on Ragging. We have just added the text in side the brackets!

- Avoid unfortunate/ dire consequences of (d)ragging
- Give due respect to your seniors (larger cubic capacities)
- Disciplinary action will be taken against those found involved in reckless (d)ragging
- Try to win the respect and regards of juniors through affection and sharing knowledge rather than (d)ragging
- Recall your feelings and mental state when you had been (d)ragged(and blown into the weeds)
- Change the conventional and crude modes of (d)ragging to impress your juniors (smaller cubic capacities)
- Juniors need more affection and support at this juncture, not (d)ragging (or living on the fumes of your exhaust)

Works like magic in both cases eh? Ride Safe!

Tackling tram lines in Kolkata

While riding pillion yesterday across the city from Park Street to Wellington to pick up a new lid we had ordered, I saw a completely new perspective of the Iron rails that have been laid by the Calcutta Tramways Corporation for the 2 bogeyed iron beasts to rattle all over the serpentine streets.

Tram lines nowadays come in a variety of surfaces beside them.
1) Concrete. This is the easiest to tackle. Its almost like the rails are not there at all. They are almost flush with the road surface and do not pose any real threat to riders. Just be careful while its wet, cause in the wet, traction on metallic surfaces = 0!

2) Tarmac. This is the tricky bit guys. In most places the iron rails are well above 3 inches higher than the road surface. The rails themselves have a deep well running all through to keep the trams on track with the iron wheels sinking into the void and staying there. Trouble is, most bike tyres will also sink in and stay there, making steering a move as useless as a reverse gear on a Platina! So avoid crossing these lines. In the event that you have to, tackle them at an angle of 45 degress so that there is no way you can get the front or the rear stuck at the mercy of the rails!

3) Stone bricks. This is a nightmare! Stay away from such patches (though there are only a very few left now and these too will thankfully go away) at all costs. If its raining, take another route. If your girlfriend lives on such a street, tell her to walk it till the stretch is done away with. If she is adamant, well just stay as far as possible from the centre of the road where the rails run!

That should get you going on the Kolkata streets.. And one more thing, be most careful where the road bends and so does the tramline. In these sections, one side of the rails have a much higher metal plate running to keep the tram wheels from derailing. Even cars start 'tramlining' here!

Ride Safe!